How I became ill

"I am living proof that, although we have struggles, we can come out the other end" ~ Immigrant Mother

A woman's story of the difficulties of leaving her homeland

"In 1990, my husband, my newborn daughter and I came to New Zealand from Hong Kong to live a new life.

Just like many new immigrants, we had many dreams and hopes for our new future and at the same time faced challenges like adjusting to the new culture and language.

It's a long and challenging journey to adjust to a new environment, to change oneself and learn a new language. I can still remember the fear, the anxiety, the confusion, the mood swings and the crying.

At that time, we were staying with my husband's parents; unfortunately I did not have a close relationship with them. To make matters worse, my husband was constantly busy with work and other tasks. I was facing enormous stress. I tried to keep everything inside and, after some time, I became ill.

All of these stresses had a negative impact on our marriage and, as a result, my husband and I decided to separate. We tried to get together again after two years of separation, but again it didn't work out.

This time, I became depressed. My health also began to deteriorate. I suffered from constant pain, especially in my stomach, and needed an operation. During these struggles, my husband began to have an affair. I couldn't sleep, but neither could I get up as I felt fatigued all the time. I felt a lot of weight on my body and felt hopeless. I started isolating myself - I was afraid of seeing people, and I locked myself at home.

I have recovered now - I'm living proof that, although we have struggles, we can come out the other end.

We Chinese people believe life is a journey with ups and downs, sunshine and rain - this is just part of life. But we really do need to look after our mental health to battle with the bad weather and come out the other side."