Learn to understand and accept yourself

"I am not defined by my experience of mental illness, or by my sexual orientation. Through this journey I found my identity" ~ Peer Support Worker and Like Minds Project Worker

A story of discovery, acceptance and love

"For as long as I can remember, I have known that I am ‘different'. When I was younger, however, I did not know what the ‘difference' was. As I grew older and gained more life experience, I slowly began to understand better what it was that made me ‘different'. However, I still kept it a ‘secret', as I felt guilty and ashamed. I kept this ‘secret' for 28 years.

After I came to New Zealand, I learned about my secret in the papers that I was studying at university - I was gay. The long term impact of the stress of keeping the secret and the feelings of guilt were damaging my mental health.

On top of that, I was faced with a new environment, I was worried about my study and I was experiencing financial difficulty. Finally, I couldn't cope with the stress any longer.

After many sessions of counselling and preparation, I decided to tell my parents about my sexual orientation. This was at the end of my first year in New Zealand. We had countless phone calls and many negotiations until, finally, my family accepted me as who I am.

Now I have a same sex partner who loves me dearly. Next February, we will go together to Malaysia to visit my parents and sisters to celebrate the Chinese New Year.

In terms of work, I am a Peer Support Worker and a Chinese Like Minds Project Worker. This work has given me an opportunity to work with people who experience mental illness, and an opportunity to work towards countering stigma and discrimination.

My experience tells me that having support from family members is important. Their acceptance of who I am helped me to recover. I am not defined by my experience of mental illness, or by my sexual orientation. Through this journey I found my identity."